.
“I used to think that time is just one thing, the way a ruler is always the same length, twelve inches or twenty-four inches or even a yard.
Then I started to run and learned that time is only like distance if we measure distance with taffy or rubber bands or chewing gum or pleats, anything that can expand wide like an accordion or shrink small enough to swallow.
I found that the twenty or thirty minutes of a run could feel like the longest twenty minutes of your life. The final block, the final leg, the final lap, the final half mile – they could feel like the longest hundred feet in the world.
Even when I ran every day, when I felt I could never imagine being more accustomed to something than I was accustomed to running, even then, I sometimes felt I would never reach the end.
There are things you do because they’re easy and there are other things you do.”
– Steffani Jemison, A Rock, A River, A Street
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September 26, 2023
September 21, 2023
I try to imagine what my life might have been like if I had never become an artist...
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I try to imagine what my life might have been like if I had never become an artist. To imagine my life being opposite. And the first thing that comes to mind is myself as an eccentric. That without the release valve of making art, my artistic impulses instead become behaviors. That I would have become a somewhat stranger person than I currently am.
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I try to imagine what my life might have been like if I had never become an artist. To imagine my life being opposite. And the first thing that comes to mind is myself as an eccentric. That without the release valve of making art, my artistic impulses instead become behaviors. That I would have become a somewhat stranger person than I currently am.
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September 6, 2023
Quotations on pessimism, fame, individualism, loneliness, sex, suicide and failure (an ongoing list)
August 27, 2023
Francisco Goldman Quote
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“Proust wrote in his novel that a man, during the second half of his life, might become the reverse of who he was in the first. When I first read that a few years ago I liked the line so much I wrote it down and put it into my wallet. Then I found a similar one in Simenon’s The Prison: “Alain Poitaud, at the age of thirty-two, took only a few hours, perhaps only a few minutes, to stop being the man he had been up to that time and to become another.” I decided to fill a notebook with quotes conveying that sense of the possibility of a seemingly magical personal metamorphosis, but then I didn’t come across many more. But I did find this one by Nathaniel Hawthorne that’s like the others but with an intriguing twist: “In Wakefield, the magic of a single night has wrought a similar transformation, because, in that brief period, a great moral change has been affected. But this is a secret from himself.” Something, even overnight, has changed you for the better, but you’re not even aware of it. But can’t it be something that has been building for years and that finally gathers enough weight, even from one day to the next, to tip over from bad into better or even into good? How will you know? Because someone will love you who wouldn’t have yesterday.”
– Francisco Goldman, Monkey Boy
.
“Proust wrote in his novel that a man, during the second half of his life, might become the reverse of who he was in the first. When I first read that a few years ago I liked the line so much I wrote it down and put it into my wallet. Then I found a similar one in Simenon’s The Prison: “Alain Poitaud, at the age of thirty-two, took only a few hours, perhaps only a few minutes, to stop being the man he had been up to that time and to become another.” I decided to fill a notebook with quotes conveying that sense of the possibility of a seemingly magical personal metamorphosis, but then I didn’t come across many more. But I did find this one by Nathaniel Hawthorne that’s like the others but with an intriguing twist: “In Wakefield, the magic of a single night has wrought a similar transformation, because, in that brief period, a great moral change has been affected. But this is a secret from himself.” Something, even overnight, has changed you for the better, but you’re not even aware of it. But can’t it be something that has been building for years and that finally gathers enough weight, even from one day to the next, to tip over from bad into better or even into good? How will you know? Because someone will love you who wouldn’t have yesterday.”
– Francisco Goldman, Monkey Boy
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August 16, 2023
Henry Louis Gates Jr. Quote
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“On the populist left, the then favored model of the oppositional spokesman was what Gramsci called the “organic intellectual”: someone who participated in and was part of the community he would uplift. And yet James Baldwin’s basic conception of himself was formed by the familiar, and still well-entrenched, idea of the alienated artist or intellectual, whose advanced sensibility entailed his estrangement from the very people he would represent. Baldwin could dramatize the tension between these two models – he would do so in his fiction – be he was never to resolve it.”
– Henry Louis Gates Jr., The Welcome Table
[From the anthology: Lure and Loathing: Twenty black intellectuals address W.E.B. Du Bois’s dilemma of the double-consciousness of African Americans. Edited by Gerald Early.]
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“On the populist left, the then favored model of the oppositional spokesman was what Gramsci called the “organic intellectual”: someone who participated in and was part of the community he would uplift. And yet James Baldwin’s basic conception of himself was formed by the familiar, and still well-entrenched, idea of the alienated artist or intellectual, whose advanced sensibility entailed his estrangement from the very people he would represent. Baldwin could dramatize the tension between these two models – he would do so in his fiction – be he was never to resolve it.”
– Henry Louis Gates Jr., The Welcome Table
[From the anthology: Lure and Loathing: Twenty black intellectuals address W.E.B. Du Bois’s dilemma of the double-consciousness of African Americans. Edited by Gerald Early.]
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June 8, 2023
Michael Wolff Quote
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I could call up Arianna and confirm the best story I know about these dinner parties. But I don’t want it not to be true. I tell my children this story as an example of savvy and pluck. (I have heard it from three different people.)
Arianna set about having dinner parties, inviting the most prestigious New Yorkers who would come and, at an appointed hour, she would deliver an impromptu toast, fifteen minutes or more of sweeping, seamless, knowing, witty observations, the likes of which no awkward table in New York had ever heard before. Grown men, those attracted to ambitious women anyway, swooned. When, ultimately, it got out that these toasts were written and rehearsed, that only added to the allure. Indeed, this is what I tell my children: it’s not the effortlessness but the effort that goes into making it effortless. In praise of artifice, if you will.
– Michael Wolff, Too Famous
.
I could call up Arianna and confirm the best story I know about these dinner parties. But I don’t want it not to be true. I tell my children this story as an example of savvy and pluck. (I have heard it from three different people.)
Arianna set about having dinner parties, inviting the most prestigious New Yorkers who would come and, at an appointed hour, she would deliver an impromptu toast, fifteen minutes or more of sweeping, seamless, knowing, witty observations, the likes of which no awkward table in New York had ever heard before. Grown men, those attracted to ambitious women anyway, swooned. When, ultimately, it got out that these toasts were written and rehearsed, that only added to the allure. Indeed, this is what I tell my children: it’s not the effortlessness but the effort that goes into making it effortless. In praise of artifice, if you will.
– Michael Wolff, Too Famous
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June 1, 2023
Some lines from For Sure by France Daigle (Translated by Robert Majzels)
Some lines from For Sure by France Daigle (Translated by Robert Majzels):
*
The rituals of obsessive neurosis are such that Freud compares this pathology to a “private religion.”
*
Some books are written to be read, others only to have been written.
*
Along the lines of thinking the glass is half full or half empty, some people who believe they’re in danger of dying are in fact in danger of living.
*
Proverb for artists: when art fails, chance succeeds.
*
Rumour is certainly related to fantasy, but it can also be related to tactics.
*
To be the object of ridicule, but to put on a good show.
*
*
The rituals of obsessive neurosis are such that Freud compares this pathology to a “private religion.”
*
Some books are written to be read, others only to have been written.
*
Along the lines of thinking the glass is half full or half empty, some people who believe they’re in danger of dying are in fact in danger of living.
*
Proverb for artists: when art fails, chance succeeds.
*
Rumour is certainly related to fantasy, but it can also be related to tactics.
*
To be the object of ridicule, but to put on a good show.
*
May 23, 2023
A project in continuum with The Fall
I have so much to say about this record that I don’t even know where to begin.
Made by members of The Fall who, over the years, Mark E. Smith fired or who quite due to his erratic and abusive behavior. Made by many of the musical architects of the classic Fall sound. And now that Mark E. Smith is gone they come together and make a record in continuum with the work of The Fall that’s almost as good as any Fall record and, for this reason, in some ways all that much better.
Revenge is a dish best served cold. Living well is the best revenge.
How to take past resentments and turn them into gold. How to have a final, unexpected fourth act that turns everything on its head.
For some reason listening to this record gives me some small hope for my artistic future. (Even though I’m probably Mark E. Smith in this story, so the hope comes after I die.)
https://houseofall.bandcamp.com/album/house-of-all
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May 13, 2023
Three videos from The Air Contains Honey
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“We shall define sexuality as that which can’t be satisfied and therefore as that which transforms the person.”
– Kathy Acker, Great Expectations
“I adore everything I don’t understand.”
– Angela Lopes, Bridge Retakes
“In my best moments I think ‘life has passed me by,’ and I’m content.”
– Agnes Martin
The Air Contains Honey is an “orchestra” that mixes professional and amateur musicians in search of a warmth and community spirit they may or may not find. All of their songs follow the same basic structure: a quote sung four times, an instrumental break, and then the same quote sung another four times. For the audience, as well as for the performers, this is a chance to hear an orchestra in the process of discovering its sound as it goes.
In these three videos The Air Contains Honey is: Patrick Conan, Thanya Iyer, Adam Kinner, Liam O'Neill, Lara Oundjian, Pompey, Stephen Quinlan, Rebecca Rehder, Catherine Fatima, Frédérique Roy, Mulu Tesfu, Jacob Wren.
Image and editing by Nina Vroemen
For more information, as it becomes available, you can find The Air Contains Honey Facebook page here.
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“We shall define sexuality as that which can’t be satisfied and therefore as that which transforms the person.”
– Kathy Acker, Great Expectations
The Air Contains Honey - Sexuality
“I adore everything I don’t understand.”
– Angela Lopes, Bridge Retakes
The Air Contains Honey - Everything
“In my best moments I think ‘life has passed me by,’ and I’m content.”
– Agnes Martin
The Air Contains Honey - Best Moments
The Air Contains Honey is an “orchestra” that mixes professional and amateur musicians in search of a warmth and community spirit they may or may not find. All of their songs follow the same basic structure: a quote sung four times, an instrumental break, and then the same quote sung another four times. For the audience, as well as for the performers, this is a chance to hear an orchestra in the process of discovering its sound as it goes.
In these three videos The Air Contains Honey is: Patrick Conan, Thanya Iyer, Adam Kinner, Liam O'Neill, Lara Oundjian, Pompey, Stephen Quinlan, Rebecca Rehder, Catherine Fatima, Frédérique Roy, Mulu Tesfu, Jacob Wren.
Image and editing by Nina Vroemen
For more information, as it becomes available, you can find The Air Contains Honey Facebook page here.
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May 11, 2023
Diachroneity Books: "What we want: Oddness. Stream of consciousness. Weird, but beautiful. Genre, but literary. Just a liiiiittle left of centre."
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Diachroneity Books seeks novels, short story collections, novels-in-flash, encyclopedias (lol), and fresh translations of the above. Currently, we’re working with prose only (no poetry (◕︵◕)).
Right now, we’re focusing on digital release.
What we want: Oddness. Stream of consciousness. Weird, but beautiful. Genre, but literary. Just a liiiiittle left of centre. Biting humour, biting commentary, and biting humour-as-commentary. Eighteen layers of sorta confusing metaphor. Make us (and you) feel uncomfortable, unsettled, unsure. Or astound us. Ideally both.
If you think other places would publish your manuscript and sell mad stacks, it’s probably not for Diachro.
What we don’t want: The mainstream. -isms or -phobias. Easy reading. Cool kids.
If you’ve been knocked back for being “too much,” hi.
Also, we aim to be, like, nice and thoughtful and understanding human beings. So if we’re thinking about doing this thing together (i.e., literary birthing), we kindly request that you be nice and thoughtful and understanding too.
Teamwork makes the dreamwork, y’know?
More information here: https://diachroneitybooks.com/SUBMIT
.
Diachroneity Books seeks novels, short story collections, novels-in-flash, encyclopedias (lol), and fresh translations of the above. Currently, we’re working with prose only (no poetry (◕︵◕)).
Right now, we’re focusing on digital release.
What we want: Oddness. Stream of consciousness. Weird, but beautiful. Genre, but literary. Just a liiiiittle left of centre. Biting humour, biting commentary, and biting humour-as-commentary. Eighteen layers of sorta confusing metaphor. Make us (and you) feel uncomfortable, unsettled, unsure. Or astound us. Ideally both.
If you think other places would publish your manuscript and sell mad stacks, it’s probably not for Diachro.
What we don’t want: The mainstream. -isms or -phobias. Easy reading. Cool kids.
If you’ve been knocked back for being “too much,” hi.
Also, we aim to be, like, nice and thoughtful and understanding human beings. So if we’re thinking about doing this thing together (i.e., literary birthing), we kindly request that you be nice and thoughtful and understanding too.
Teamwork makes the dreamwork, y’know?
More information here: https://diachroneitybooks.com/SUBMIT
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May 6, 2023
Some passages from Ordinary Notes by Christina Sharpe
Some passages from Ordinary Notes by Christina Sharpe:
*
I want to tell how sorrow makes a shape that is familiar. And how that familiar thing can be difficult both to name and to narrate.
*
There is a certain mode of reading connected to a tradition of colonial practices in which every book by any Black writer appears as sociology. Then all of that book’s explorations, its meanings, and its ambitions lodge in a place called identity. This often-white reading either does this directly, as in, in this book about identity… or indirectly, by way of excepting a particular Black writer from this dreaded trap by writing that they “bravely” eschew identity. The reviewer might then draw a comparison between that Black writer and Sebald and imagine this a compliment of the highest order. Or the reviewer might make clear that the Black writer in question is not-one-of-those-Black-writers who center their work in the abundance of Black life.
These readers and reviewers are stuck on something they call identity and not something called life or genre or craft or intertextuality or invention or literary tradition.
These readers continually misread the note. They decant all complexity, all invention into that thing they name identity that they imagine is both not complex and not relevant to them.
*
Abolition is one manifestation and key call of this time of Black liberation; it extends our understanding of the ways that the states we live in have consolidated the carceral and it imagines and enacts other ways of living.
Abolition is one manifestation and a key call of this epoch of Black liberation. It refuses the logics of property. It refuses the ways that the states we live in and the mechanisms of those states in this moment have consolidated the carceral. It joins and elaborates and imagines other ways of being together and in relation, other ways of enacting care for human and nonhuman life.
Ruth Wilson Gilmore and Mariame Kaba remind us that abolition is both tearing things down and remaking: more than anything else, Gilmore says, it is about presence, not absence.
Abolition is remaking our vocabularies. Abolition is another word for love.
*
Care is complicated, gendered, misused. It is often mobilized to enact violence, not assuage it, yet I cannot surrender it.
I want acts and accounts of care as shared and distributed risk, as mass refusals of the unbearable life, as total rejections of the dead future.
*
*
I want to tell how sorrow makes a shape that is familiar. And how that familiar thing can be difficult both to name and to narrate.
*
There is a certain mode of reading connected to a tradition of colonial practices in which every book by any Black writer appears as sociology. Then all of that book’s explorations, its meanings, and its ambitions lodge in a place called identity. This often-white reading either does this directly, as in, in this book about identity… or indirectly, by way of excepting a particular Black writer from this dreaded trap by writing that they “bravely” eschew identity. The reviewer might then draw a comparison between that Black writer and Sebald and imagine this a compliment of the highest order. Or the reviewer might make clear that the Black writer in question is not-one-of-those-Black-writers who center their work in the abundance of Black life.
These readers and reviewers are stuck on something they call identity and not something called life or genre or craft or intertextuality or invention or literary tradition.
These readers continually misread the note. They decant all complexity, all invention into that thing they name identity that they imagine is both not complex and not relevant to them.
*
Abolition is one manifestation and key call of this time of Black liberation; it extends our understanding of the ways that the states we live in have consolidated the carceral and it imagines and enacts other ways of living.
Abolition is one manifestation and a key call of this epoch of Black liberation. It refuses the logics of property. It refuses the ways that the states we live in and the mechanisms of those states in this moment have consolidated the carceral. It joins and elaborates and imagines other ways of being together and in relation, other ways of enacting care for human and nonhuman life.
Ruth Wilson Gilmore and Mariame Kaba remind us that abolition is both tearing things down and remaking: more than anything else, Gilmore says, it is about presence, not absence.
Abolition is remaking our vocabularies. Abolition is another word for love.
*
Care is complicated, gendered, misused. It is often mobilized to enact violence, not assuage it, yet I cannot surrender it.
I want acts and accounts of care as shared and distributed risk, as mass refusals of the unbearable life, as total rejections of the dead future.
*
April 17, 2023
Six sentences concerning art and jealousy
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Jealousy of other artists is perhaps the most natural part of being an artist.
Artists should have honest discussions about ambition (and about money.)
Being an artist is often about the feeling that other artists are getting something that you’re not.
The difference between how I feel jealous of an artist whose work is better than mine and how I feel jealous of an artist whose work is more successful than mine.
The purpose of an artistic star system is to undermine solidarity.
There are no individual solutions to collective problems.
.
Jealousy of other artists is perhaps the most natural part of being an artist.
Artists should have honest discussions about ambition (and about money.)
Being an artist is often about the feeling that other artists are getting something that you’re not.
The difference between how I feel jealous of an artist whose work is better than mine and how I feel jealous of an artist whose work is more successful than mine.
The purpose of an artistic star system is to undermine solidarity.
There are no individual solutions to collective problems.
.
April 2, 2023
My apartment is just piles of books
.
The video recording of My apartment is just piles of books was online only until April 30th, 2023 and therefore is no longer available.
"In this online performance, Jacob Wren reflects on the fact that he used to travel constantly for art and yet during the pandemic spent more time in his apartment than ever before. And the travel has not yet resumed. Through a short tour of his bookshelf, questions are raised about what it means to make art when you find yourself no longer in constant motion."
However, you can still watch the conversation between Anyse Ducharme and Jacob Wren as part of the Virtual Encounters series: https://vimeo.com/815412881
Presented by LOMAA.
.
The video recording of My apartment is just piles of books was online only until April 30th, 2023 and therefore is no longer available.
"In this online performance, Jacob Wren reflects on the fact that he used to travel constantly for art and yet during the pandemic spent more time in his apartment than ever before. And the travel has not yet resumed. Through a short tour of his bookshelf, questions are raised about what it means to make art when you find yourself no longer in constant motion."
However, you can still watch the conversation between Anyse Ducharme and Jacob Wren as part of the Virtual Encounters series: https://vimeo.com/815412881
Presented by LOMAA.
.
March 29, 2023
99,430 words
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When you finish a first draft of a book, do a word count, and learn that the manuscript is 99,430 words long.
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When you finish a first draft of a book, do a word count, and learn that the manuscript is 99,430 words long.
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March 17, 2023
How many times have I gone online and posted a paragraph entitled “possible opening for a new novel?”
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How many times have I gone online and posted a paragraph entitled “possible opening for a new novel?” That feeling of starting something new, starting over. The feeling or idea that it’s possible to start from scratch, a feeling most easily obtained in the land of fiction. The fiction that it’s possible to start again. Everything comes from somewhere, nothing is pure invention. The beginning of a new work is the beginning of a new day. And yesterday was also once a new day. Wondering if I should leave but no idea where to go.
.
How many times have I gone online and posted a paragraph entitled “possible opening for a new novel?” That feeling of starting something new, starting over. The feeling or idea that it’s possible to start from scratch, a feeling most easily obtained in the land of fiction. The fiction that it’s possible to start again. Everything comes from somewhere, nothing is pure invention. The beginning of a new work is the beginning of a new day. And yesterday was also once a new day. Wondering if I should leave but no idea where to go.
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March 15, 2023
Can an art of collective struggle really be made by an individual artist?
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Can an art of collective struggle really be made by an individual artist? My secret, if I have one, is that I honestly hate being alive. What is your secret? What is the secret of some larger collectivity? A secret shared by everyone, a secret that everyone can work toward together? But of course not exactly everyone, just those within a certain specific circle of solidarity. What secret might be large enough to hold this solidarity together? My secret, if I have one, is that I can endlessly write about how miserable I am, but most often choose not to. Some other people are as miserable but, for the most part, most other people don’t seem to be. Illusions.
.
Can an art of collective struggle really be made by an individual artist? My secret, if I have one, is that I honestly hate being alive. What is your secret? What is the secret of some larger collectivity? A secret shared by everyone, a secret that everyone can work toward together? But of course not exactly everyone, just those within a certain specific circle of solidarity. What secret might be large enough to hold this solidarity together? My secret, if I have one, is that I can endlessly write about how miserable I am, but most often choose not to. Some other people are as miserable but, for the most part, most other people don’t seem to be. Illusions.
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February 20, 2023
There is a genre of scene I believe I had read several times in a certain kind of nonfiction book...
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There is a genre of scene I believe I have read several times in a certain kind of nonfiction book. In this type of scene, the author of the book shows an earlier draft of said book – the very book you are holding in your hands – to a character in the book, or more precisely to a person in the author’s life upon whom one of the characters is based. And this person reacts extremely badly to the manner in which they’ve been portrayed. Which creates a sort of ethical dilemma on the part of the author. Do they remove this character from their book? Or rewrite the character in order to make it more to the liking of the person on whom it is based? Or fictionalize the character even further so as to make it unrecognizable? I have seen different author’s deal with this dilemma in different ways, and it always strikes me as somehow getting to the very heart of the ethical problem of the relationship between fiction and reality.
.
There is a genre of scene I believe I have read several times in a certain kind of nonfiction book. In this type of scene, the author of the book shows an earlier draft of said book – the very book you are holding in your hands – to a character in the book, or more precisely to a person in the author’s life upon whom one of the characters is based. And this person reacts extremely badly to the manner in which they’ve been portrayed. Which creates a sort of ethical dilemma on the part of the author. Do they remove this character from their book? Or rewrite the character in order to make it more to the liking of the person on whom it is based? Or fictionalize the character even further so as to make it unrecognizable? I have seen different author’s deal with this dilemma in different ways, and it always strikes me as somehow getting to the very heart of the ethical problem of the relationship between fiction and reality.
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February 17, 2023
And things started to happen, but none of them were the things we said were going to happen...
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And things started to happen, but none of them were the things we said were going to happen, and none of them were the things anyone else expected either. But at least something had begun. Or so we thought. Were we willing to classify whatever it was that seemed to be happening as “something”? We had no choice: we couldn’t go back and the only way forward was to go with what was happening. What was starting. What we thought. It had something to do with the way one thing followed the next. If we didn’t intervene. All we had done is open the door. It was exhausting.
.
And things started to happen, but none of them were the things we said were going to happen, and none of them were the things anyone else expected either. But at least something had begun. Or so we thought. Were we willing to classify whatever it was that seemed to be happening as “something”? We had no choice: we couldn’t go back and the only way forward was to go with what was happening. What was starting. What we thought. It had something to do with the way one thing followed the next. If we didn’t intervene. All we had done is open the door. It was exhausting.
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February 13, 2023
Virtual Coffee Chat with Jacob Wren and Julia Lee Barclay-Morton
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On Wednesday, Feb. 15 at 5pm EST I will be having a Virtual Coffee Chat with Julia Lee Barclay-Morton about her book The Mortality Shot and my book Polyamorous Love Song. Discussing what we share as authors: the crossover between words for performance and for the page and not falling neatly into categories.
The event is online and free but you have to register for it here.
If you haven't already you should definitely check out The Mortality Shot. This is what I had to say about it:
"These stories and essays (plus a stage text) push up against heartfelt questions of life and death in ways that are complex, counter-intuitive, humorous and striking. Writing against the grain, in varying styles and intensities, The Morality Shot goes places that so much current literature wouldn’t dare, demonstrating that real writing is always a risk and a gamble, and that only through taking such risks can we get at the things which truly matter."
And, if you missed it, the Virtual Author Coffee Chat is now online and you can watch it here:
.
On Wednesday, Feb. 15 at 5pm EST I will be having a Virtual Coffee Chat with Julia Lee Barclay-Morton about her book The Mortality Shot and my book Polyamorous Love Song. Discussing what we share as authors: the crossover between words for performance and for the page and not falling neatly into categories.
The event is online and free but you have to register for it here.
If you haven't already you should definitely check out The Mortality Shot. This is what I had to say about it:
"These stories and essays (plus a stage text) push up against heartfelt questions of life and death in ways that are complex, counter-intuitive, humorous and striking. Writing against the grain, in varying styles and intensities, The Morality Shot goes places that so much current literature wouldn’t dare, demonstrating that real writing is always a risk and a gamble, and that only through taking such risks can we get at the things which truly matter."
And, if you missed it, the Virtual Author Coffee Chat is now online and you can watch it here:
.
February 10, 2023
My life is entangled in theatre but I now know almost no one else who works in theatre...
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My life is entangled in theatre but I now know almost no one else who works in theatre. It is like a place I have almost completely left as that place continues to almost completely rule my inner life. Be careful what you decide to be against. I find myself feeling like I’m stuck in a tunnel of things I don’t want to do. But what exactly is the tunnel? An inability to usefully think what other sorts of things I could be doing. Doing things in reaction to what I’ve previously done, rather than thinking toward what might interest me in the future. This has something to do with the idea of a diary.
.
My life is entangled in theatre but I now know almost no one else who works in theatre. It is like a place I have almost completely left as that place continues to almost completely rule my inner life. Be careful what you decide to be against. I find myself feeling like I’m stuck in a tunnel of things I don’t want to do. But what exactly is the tunnel? An inability to usefully think what other sorts of things I could be doing. Doing things in reaction to what I’ve previously done, rather than thinking toward what might interest me in the future. This has something to do with the idea of a diary.
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